Wednesday, April 17, 2013

10 Chapters in my Mommy Autobiography

Gosh, the Listicles topic this week from Stasha was giving me a bit 'o trouble...scrapbook about my family, fab! scrapbook about the individual boys, awesome! Scrapbook about my obsession with glitter, totally! Write about my own life...about myself...whoa. Crickets... but I need to post 'cause I miss y'all, and I can't share anything I'm working on in the Stamp Pad right now. I have no idea where our pictures in digital format from before 1998 are hanging out right now. Probably with my feather duster, two old printers, and who knows what else is living in my garagestorage facility. So here's my Mommy autobiography in children's book titles, all linked up to my favorite online bookstore, Jacobsen's Books, run by one of my amazing mommy friends.

10 Random Chapters in My Mommy Autobiography illustrated in Children's Book Titles

1.  Where the Wild Things Are - I am the oldest of four children, all about a year apart. I'm sorry, Mom. I had no idea...

2. Love You Forever - Oldest son Gabe is born...life is wonderfully, messily, crazily, happily never the same again.

3. I'm a Big Brother - We read this one so many times before Ben was born that it's the first book Gabe ever memorized. I'm fairly certain that he loved the book much more than he loved having his brother. Except in that moment at the hospital when we gave him a gift from his new baby brother...at that moment he loved the train more. For a long while after if we drove past the hospital he would point and cry "Train!" I'm guessing he was hoping to return Ben and get another train.

4. The Giving Tree - Now I'm mom to three boys, all just about 22 months apart. Perhaps I learned a lesson from my mom's every-year-spacing...but If I did, I didn't learn it by much. Ok, I didn't learn it at all - I'm the only mom I know who's been accidentally "Surprise!" preggo three times after the age of thirty. There is a tree, and she loves three little boys...

5. Green Eggs and Ham - Getting three little boys off all things gluten and onto the diet that I truly believe saved their health my sanity bears a remarkable resemblance to this story? I am that peppy Sam-I-Am cheerleader for all new foods (You do not like these brand new foods? Eat them, eat them, you'll love this, dudes!), and my oldest son is grumpy Gus. Now I give all new foods at lunch while he's at school...so the other two aren't infected with his awesome attitude. And he'll feel left out when they chow it down enthusiastically in front of him later... Maybe that's more like I Will Never, Not Ever, Eat a Tomato with a slightly darker twist...whatever works, right?

6. Oh, the Places You'll Go! Like the Children's Museum, the potty, the Salem Children's Museum, the library storytime, the Children's Museum, the zoo, a new library story time after you've completely embarrassed yourself and cannot show your face at the first library story time, the grocery store, the grocery store, the grocery store, the grocery store, the Children's Museum...so when I take my annual trip ALL ALONE to the CTMH Convention, you can see why I don't care at all where it is, just that I'm going! In June! With 9 of my bestest CTMH buddies and teammates! You should totally come with us - it totally beats the pants of going to the Children's Museum again!

7. No, David! Every day of my life right now resounds with the word No. I want to be one of those cool, got-it-all-together moms who says yes. Yes to crafts, yes to trying new things, YES! Adventure is out there! but nope...I have to be the mom who says no. No, Boys! Don't climb that flagpole/jump off that stone ledge/eat that possibly gluten thing from the ground/punch your brother in the ear/scream penis in the checkout line then giggle/spin in circles till you fall over next to large displays of glass homewares/fling toys out of the upstairs Stamp Pad window/fling yourselves out of the upstairs Stamp Pad window...Man, I am a drag!

8. Once Upon a Potty - now currently in bathrooms near me for the very last time! Max has been in underpants for over a week now...is that freedom I see dimly lighting the end of this very long tunnel?

9. If You Give a Mouse a Cookie - I am a planner. I like to line up my ducks and knock 'em down. I love getting a fresh new calendar to write all my appointments in or a new post-it pad to mark down and check off my To-Do's. Now each and every day runs like one of these damn mouse books...one thing leads to another, and at the end we are home, having a cookie with no idea how our day went so far off the post-it note flagged course...and all the happier for it.

10. Corduroy - This must be a family! I've always wanted a family!

Here's hoping you are loving your crazy, mostly sweet life this week too.

2 comments:

Dawn's Daze said...

Oh Wendy, you crack me up!! I love reading your blog posts and getting a glimpse into your hectic life. I don't know how you do it all and do it so WELL! Hang in there and I hope to meet you at convention one of these years.
Dawn M.

Rachee Fagg said...

I'm digging that you went with book titles!
I often thank and apologize to my mom. She had twins and I don't know how she did it!

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